Every night in order to fall asleep she needs a parent to be with her. By applying well-validated behavioral techniques, listening carefully to parents and kids, and lots of trial and error, I have discovered the specific strategies that children need to establish a habit of independent sleep. Over the years, I have refined this straightforward behavioral approach to solving the problem. I developed the Goodnight Worry program in 2001 because I kept encountering this problem in my practice as a clinical psychologist. Everyone feels discouraged and exhausted. Eventually, parents throw up their hands. The child is not just being stubborn-she is panicked. The child cries, pleads, yells, and bangs on her parents’ bedroom door. Mom and Dad try to be firm and set limits, but the child actively refuses to stay in bed. It may only cause the child to feel more anxious and pressured. But the reaction they get is intense resistance. First, they try reassurance – tell her she is safe, show her that all doors are locked, buy a new special pillow, and maybe promise a reward. They want their child to sleep alone, and do so comfortably.īut when parents try to get the child to sleep alone, they run into trouble. They want their child to be confident, not fearful. Moreover, parents feel that too much dependence on them is unhealthy. But by the time the child is 7 or 8 years old, parents want to reclaim their bed. Maybe this was okay when the child was a toddler. Sharing a bed with a child every night can be maddening. Understandably, parents eventually get frustrated with this routine-too many knees and elbows, too little privacy. Or a parent has to sleep in the child’s bed. Often, the child sleeps in the parents’ bed. Every night, a parent has to be with the child until he or she falls asleep. The Goodnight Worry program is designed to help school-age children (5-12 years old) learn to sleep alone. This mastery and independence will spread to other parts of their lives, adding to their sense of confidence and strength as they face their world. By developing their capacity to soothe themselves, our children master their fears. TAKE THE SURVEY.Ĭhildren should be able to fall asleep on their own. I will not share your name, your child’s name, or your email address. Describe your child’s sleep problem and how it affects your family. Tell me your story: you want to help me and other families, consider completing this short survey before you start the Goodnight Worry program. I want to hear from you! Please let me know if this is helpful. The Goodnight Worry Program for Bedtime Fears
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